I know I’ve come a long way, working through my issues, to remove my need to smoke weed daily. And I’m astounded now looking at who I was, compared to who I am today… especially with the knowledge that, I did not change this much between 8 and 28… it took the past 4 years, to change me the most.
I look back at everything I’ve been through, hating so much of it. Not only because of how I feel towards how I felt I was treated, but because when it really clued in that I hadn’t evolved as far past my abusers as I wanted to believe, I broke inside in a way I never would have believed possible.
And today, I could sit here and admit to any of the lies I’d told myself. Hoping that through it all, and knowing I wasn’t as honest as I am now, that I was at least closer to what I thought I was, than the one who hurt me the most.
So as I see people much older than I am now, still lying to themselves, talking to them to understand their issues… and knowing how much of a depression I entered into, in order to change myself… to rewrite myself on a primal level. It irks me that I would have no idea how to help them still, because what helped push me on the right path… was so specific and contextual to my own life, that it truly emphasizes how much as a society, we have a long road ahead of us…
We need to improve how we handle mental health, further than we’re willing to admit, because in the end… I have yet to meet a single person, and learn about them and their story… who hasn’t told themself at least 1 lie, to get through the day. And sometimes those lies, are ones that if we don’t admit to ourselves, will trap us forever, or hurt the ones we love.