I experienced a lot of abuse growing up. Some physical, some mental, all due to the effects of abuse on my mom and stepdad… it disperses onto others like a wave. It was disturbing to me, learning of the abuses my mother endured, the abuses her mother endured, and the lack of support they had… Continue reading Moral Dilema
Category: My Journey
Punishing vs Rewarding
Always seemed weird to me, how people debate punishing vs rewarding, as though you can’t do both. A healthy mix of punishing, and rewarding,, based entirely on proportional and relativistic responses, that don’t become absurd or physically threatening… is always most effective. Only punishing removes incentive. Thus removing motivation. Rewarding only, has more complex downsides,… Continue reading Punishing vs Rewarding
Lying to Cope
I know I’ve come a long way, working through my issues, to remove my need to smoke weed daily. And I’m astounded now looking at who I was, compared to who I am today… especially with the knowledge that, I did not change this much between 8 and 28… it took the past 4 years,… Continue reading Lying to Cope
The Religion I Chose
Despite the fact that I even have a hard time calling this a religion, this is the single belief that fits the area of my mind longing for such a construct, and as close as I can consciously get to believing in anything that is not already proven by scientific testing. This belief for me… Continue reading The Religion I Chose
But They did it First!
Having lived with roommates for a while now, and trying to better myself as I get older, I’m trying to distance myself from the idea of doing something, because someone else did it first. As cathartic as it can be, one of the major flaws with this especially when living with a lot of others,… Continue reading But They did it First!
Growing Up with Abuse
As an adult, it’s taken me a long time to truly come to terms with the abuse I suffered as a child. I had the dishonor of taking part in arguments about “Who’s abuse was worse”, as well as the torment of knowing that I will have to live out my entire life with these… Continue reading Growing Up with Abuse
Control and Abuse
Being the victim of abuse growing up, I resent my mother and step-dad to this day, but, it wasn’t until I became an adult and tried to understand it all that I started to realize how far down the chain it truly goes. Having had the chance to speak to family members on my mother’s… Continue reading Control and Abuse
Focus and Results
One of the earliest concepts I learnt was: If you focus on something, whether through desire or fear, you will begin trying to reach that goal, purely subconsciously. This concept has stuck with me, it’s so primal, it’s a narrative that we’re all forced to follow, the rails we’re all locked to, why fear and… Continue reading Focus and Results
Learning to Program
Where I started, and how I learnt to program the way I do.
Artist Pursuits
I’ve always been fascinated by graphic design, especially while growing up and seeing how fast the “special effects” in movies were evolving, the idea that someday I could learn to make 3D models and textures was definitely very motivating and pushed me to learn about how everything worked. Since than I’ve learnt how to make… Continue reading Artist Pursuits